In his public talk on Sunday, the Dalai Lama mentioned prayer briefly. I was a bit surprised by what he said, which was essentially that prayer wouldn't change anything. It was said in the context of the war in Iraq and I believe he was referring to the need for action and not only passive prayer. It would be a mistake to only pray and wait for God to do something. H.H.'s point was well taken by this listener but it got me thinking about prayer. I began to wonder - do most people pray because it makes them feel better or do most people pray because they truly believe that God listens to and answers prayers?
I grew up in a house heavy on religion, light on spirituality. Prayer was a huge part of my life growing up. I had to pray before every meal (before a morsel of food touched my lips!, my mother would say) before bed, before during and after our weekly meetings, when I woke up, when I was anxious, scared, or sad, when I was happy or thankful. I was taught to pray continuously and to "persevere in prayer", as our good friend Paul wrote to the Romans. Not only did I have to spend almost every waking minute speaking to God in fervent prayer, but I had to be original. We were taught that it was sinful to repeat prayers. The Lord's Prayer was simply a model and not meant to be recited over and over again. Prayers had to be genuine and heartfelt. I spent many sleepless nights as a child and young adolescent worrying if perhaps the prayer I had just said was too much like the one I'd said the night before. Would God consider it a repeat? Shit! Maybe I'll only ask Him to take care of the widows and orphans every other prayer.
It was a lot of pressure. Imagine having to be interesting all the time. And not just interesting to your friends or family, but to, you know, God. Surely he was getting bored of my prayers. And sometimes, I just didn't know what to say. I have a fear of flying. Well, not the actual flying bit, just the landing and taking off bits. Two necessary bits of flying, I admit, but not the speeding through the air at high altitudes bit. Well, back when I used to pray incessantly, flying seemed like a good time to pray and beg God not to let me die. What I wanted to pray every time was, "please don't let me die, please don't let this plane crash on landing or takeoff, please don't let me die, I don't want to die in a plane crash". But, as you know, I had to be original. That prayer only worked the first time. Every other time I got on an airplane, I had to come up with more original ways to beg God not to let me die. I didn't want to offend him by repeating my original plea - especially not when my very safety depending on him wanting to answer my prayer.
And so it was that prayer came to be for me an obligation. It was like eating, only less enjoyable. If I wanted to live, I had to pray. The issue was not whether or not I believed in God. I did. The issue was, why couldn't I just say what I was honestly feeling each time I approached him? What if my desires, wishes, hopes, feelings hadn't changed during the day, and so my morning prayer and evening prayer were the same? Or what if I didn't know what to say? What if I just wanted to pray to feel close to God? Why couldn't I recite a prayer in these moments when I couldn't find the words? Why did he create me to find comfort in ritual and routine, and then demand that my prayers to him belie those things?
The religion in which I had been raised kicked me out when I started asking questions like these. It was then that I realized that perhaps the world-view I'd been taught, including all my ideas about God and prayer - it was all probably a big stinking pile of mumbo-jumbo. I didn't pray for years. Belief in the existence of a Creator became a distant memory - a memory that was laughable and almost quaint. I started condescending to my former self - awww... isn't that cute? We used to believe in God. How silly and irrational we were.
The good times couldn't last, though. At some point, about two years ago, my mind started revisiting this maddening and provoking issue of "god". Two years later, this issue still falls under the category of Things I Don't Know, and under the sub-category of Things I Don't Know That Make Me Crazy. I do believe in some thing. I don't know what form this being takes. Is it Love? Is it Nature? Is it Us?
Without having an answer to those questions, I've managed to configure a spiritual practice that is both refreshing and satisfying. No small feat given where I've come from. My daily meditations are a type of prayer, I suppose, though they resemble in no way the prayers of my childhood. A few months ago I caught myself praying a familiar prayer. I was on a plane - it was my birthday - and I was saying, "please don't let me die in a plane crash on my birthday, please don't let me die in a plane crash on my birthday ...". It was unexpected, though not surprising, as by that time I had already determined that the prayers of my past were all about making me feel better. I knew God wasn't going to keep my plane aloft just because I asked him to. Surely the prayers of the people suffering from hunger and war and poverty were more urgent than mine. But I prayed then because it made me feel safe - the act of praying was a ritual in which I found comfort, if not the prayer itself.
So, to answer my own question - I think prayer serves the purpose of consoling us. It is easier to ask an all-knowing and powerful being for help than it is to ask ourselves and to tap into and to trust our own power. This is what I think. I, of course, don't know.
What do you think, dear readers? What is the purpose of prayer, and why do people do it?
4 comments:
My airplane mantra: this is where you are and this is what is happening.
It helps me to accept the fact that my worry or lack of worry changes nothing about the flight, and even though it may not seem particularly reassuring, it helps me to calm down when the weather gets rough.
I think the purpose of prayer is 2 fold. The first is prayer should be used to state your intentions. In my mind thoughts create reality. You must focus your thoughts with your intention to create reaity. The bible sayes we were created in the image of god. So if god can create why can't we. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said your daily meditation provides you with a spirtual practice that is both refreshing and satisfing. Taking the time to focus and see what we are thinking help us to know what we are creating, and intending. Secondly prayer is a great way to state our thanks to life and whoever for the things we recive. This is how I use prayer. By the way I also like H.H.
I think far too many people pray just to comfort themselves or to appease their angry or unpredictable god. Like so many things, the concept of prayer has become distorted into a stressful, meaningless, competitive or boring requirement for saving oneself from the hellfires. Or, like baptism, a ritual to participate in "just in case."
I think that prayer should be a means of centering into whatever force it is that one believes connects us in this world. It should be a means of realizing that connectedness and then putting it into action.
During one of HHDL's talks he spoke of asking a Christian priest why he believed this particular life was so important. When the priest replied that it was because God gave us this life, HHDL thought something to the effect of, "Isn't that wonderful! Such an intimate relationship with your god."
Of course, being nontheistic, HHDL didn't buy into that particular world view, but I was struck by his admiration for an intimate relationship with god. Surely that intimacy should provide stability and strength. And prayer must be part of the believer's side of that communication. But having that stability and strength is meaningful only if its put to use.
I think PRAYER IS COMMUNICATION WITH OUR SPIRITUAL FATHER, OUR CREATOR. We share our thoughts and concerns and hopes and fears and requests with him, just as we would a dear friend. The communication benefits both parties.
Post a Comment